Notes: This story is actually entitled: Painted Desert Series: Subtle Changes as it is story three of a series. All of the stories are to be J/C in nature. Comments, and constructive criticism is encouraged. Begged for actually... I can't improve unless you tell me what I do wrong. Don't worry, I'm not fragile... Oh yeah, pure sap...

The rest of the stories can be had via e-mail (Jackeec@aol.com) or at: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/1841/pds.htm

Legal Stuff: The characters and situations used herein belong to Star Trek and the gang up on Mount Para...in other words, they are not mine... This pursuit is purely for my, and perhaps your enjoyment. Feel free to share with anyone you like as long as no profit is made and the story with disclaimers et al remain intact.

Author's Second Note: Um, there is not a heckuva lot of plot here. Who am I kidding? There isn't any plot here. In fact, calling it a 'story' might even be a stretch. It's more of a character study on my part. . . or a Janeway sittin' and thinkin' if you like. Please let me know what you think of it. I promise this time, no hanky alerts.

March 1998

Waters running gently over rocks can smooth even the roughtest edges, and the darkness of night fades gently into dawn, bringing light and life out of the depths of despair. These things happen quietly, softly, while we go briskly about our lives. Today we are here, and tomorrow see how far we've come; and the distance is further than we'd ever have imagined.

Yesterday I stood in a dark and lonely place, no safe harbor or cove of refuge. I stood alone. If then I could have known that each step, each forward motion would bring me gently, irrevocably here, I would have run; thrown fear aside and caution to the wind. Because here is my cove of refuge, my place of strength, my safe harbor. Here I stand not alone.

The days that passed between that yesterday and this today, each individual moment added minutely, step by step, credence to the journey. This is how far I've come. This is how far we've come. Together we stand in a bright place filled with joy and warmth. All the yesterdays and this today will lead us forward.

~*~

They say it's lonely at the top and never more so than if you're a Starfleet captain trapped in the Delta quadrant. I began my journey on the bridge after having blown up the array, our last link home. Yet, oddly, there he stood, calmly supportive. Even in times of anger he did that. I remember when he'd argued forcefully that B'Elanna become chief engineer. Oh, he swore he'd not be my 'token Maquis officer', so full of earnestness and fury, but even then, in his anger and frustration, he was helping me - and he told me so. But I couldn't see it. I couldn't see a lot things those days.

Time passed as it does, me forcefully pushing us forward toward that longed-for goal; him quietly following along, ensuring that all the troops fell in line. We developed a sort of routine, riding the waves and braving the rapids where necessary. As a result, we circled our camps, closed in until we were united. One whole, a team; them and us. He and I.

I could tell you about our time on the planet. We drew very close then; those steps in the journey weren't quite so subtle, and they marked both of us. Not in a bad way, mind you. During that time I was. . . contented - more so than I've ever been in my entire life. Of course at first I balked, that's just my way - never giving in to anything easily. But happiness just keep seeping through. It drew me in like an irresistible force.

Then it ended; before it could start, really. I can't communicate how difficult those times were. It was like staring across a wide gulf, desperately seeking something I could no longer have. But somehow we made it through, we came out on the other side and we were victorious!

This man, my best friend, whose dimpled cheeks and laughing eyes could melt butter, could also melt hearts. Mine in particular. Some where between that today and this tomorrow he has become dearer to me than life itself. There was no great revelation or fanfare, no signs of warning, just subtle changes; gentle waters flowing over rocks in a stream; dawn replacing the darkness, bringing light and life to a lonely existence.

I can't imagine a day without him.

~*~

This story is followed by Powerful Currents, which is Chakotay's response.

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