Chapter Nine

A hollow sensation settled in the pit of Tammy's stomach as her gaze settled on the form that was David. Already she was regretting her harsh words, but she couldn't take them back. Sure, she felt an attraction for him, and there was obviously some chemistry there. But she didn't love him. How could she when she didn't even remember him?

During her perusal, David never turned or spoke. But as she moved toward the door and flipped out the light, she heard him utter a tired 'good night'. She responded in kind and continued on her way.

The guest room seemed far too formal, and before long she found herself downstairs on the sofa watching television. She fell asleep halfway through a romantic comedy that had once been a favorite. When she awoke, the air had the feeling of early morning. The television was playing an infomercial.

Shifting her aching muscles, she dug out the remote control. Then with a flick of a switch, she shut off the irritatingly hyper voice of a gentlemen who seemed determined to sell a do-it-all household cleaner. Blessed silence fell over the room.

After several minutes of groaning through the pain of muscles that were beginning to complain in earnest, Tammy decided that perhaps sleeping on the sofa hadn't been such a good plan.

Gathering her blankets and pillow, she headed up the stairs. A small sound stopped her just as she reached the top. That was when she noticed that a door along the upstairs hallway was partially open. She'd glanced into it the morning before, while David was still sleeping. A large desk, a computer and several filing cabinets had occupied the room. She'd figured it for David's home office.

As she crept closer, she began to hear someone speaking softly. "I just don't know what to do," the voice was a soft rumble that she quickly identified as David. Wondering who he might be talking to at such an hour was the first question that popped into her mind. The second was whether he could see her from where she was standing. Morbid curiosity kept her rooted to the spot, waiting to hear the rest of the conversation.

"All right." David replied in response to some unheard statement. And then, "Okay. Okay. Thank you. Good-bye."

Tammy moved quickly into action, coming the rest of the way up the stairs. David stepped out of the room just as she reached the top. He eyed her almost guiltily for several seconds.

"Uh, Tammy. I didn't know you were down there. Good morning."

"Good morning," Tammy replied, watching him carefully. She couldn't explain it, but an uncomfortable feeling settled over her heart and she had to know who he had been talking to. "Who was that?" she found herself asking.

"Oh, that was someone from work," David said. "I'm going to have to go in for a couple of hours today to catch up on a few things."

"Okay," Tammy nodded, wondering why she was beginning to feel oddly bereft.

"Will you be okay while I'm gone?" David added, obviously catching a hint of her reticence. He ran a hand through already mused hair. "Uh, If you don't mind being a little bored you can come with."

"Oh, no," Tammy shook her head, "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. Maybe I'll do some exploring around here. I still want to try to get into my old computer."

"Okay," David smiled, a small uncomfortable raising of the corners of his mouth. "Good. I'll just get dressed, then." He turned and headed for the bedroom, then after a few steps, turned back toward her.

"Breakfast. What do you want? Are you hungry?"

"Why don't I fix something," Tammy asked. "I do remember how to cook," she joked weakly.

David seemed eager for the opportunity at lessening the tension that seemed to have blossomed between them. "Thank goodness. Remembering would not help my cooking."

Tammy obliged him with a smile. His eyes lingered on her for several moments, and then he turned and went back into the bedroom.

David didn't know if he could keep up with the emotional rollercoaster ride he was experiencing with Tammy. The day before she alternately confided in and hated him. And then, after dinner, when he'd been convinced that things were on the right track wham, out of the blue, she'd blown up at him. She had actually told him that she didn't love him. That still hurt, but he had decided to give her the space she'd so vocally demanded.

Then there was their encounter in the hallway. She had appeared almost possessive when she'd asked about the phone call. And then she'd joked with him. Perhaps it just wasn't meant for him to understand where he stood with her. Or maybe he was just a glutton for punishment. Either way, he wasn't going to give up on her. As soon as he returned home, he fully intended to get started on his plan to get his wife back.

Tammy had baked muffins, scrambled eggs and started coffee by the time David appeared in the kitchen. It had amazed her that she knew exactly where everything was in the small space. She had even known intuitively what was in the cupboards. He was dressed in dark slacks, a white shirt and a perfectly matching tie.

David, hair combed neatly away from his face, was dressed in dark slacks, pale shirt and a perfectly matching tie. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "You always were a wonderful cook," he said, tearing into one of the muffins with one hand, and grasping a mug full of coffee in the other.

"Thank you," Tammy said, continuing to observe him surreptitiously as he downed first one muffin, then another and then made a significant dent in a third, before glancing at his watch declaring that he had to go. She faced him then and smiled, about to tease him about the vigor with which he had eaten.

He walked quickly toward her, threw an arm around her shoulder and was about to kiss her when he stopped himself. His face was mere inches away from hers, so close that she could smell the soap he'd used during his shower. His eyes clouded slightly, as he fought some internal battle. Tammy's senses seemed to be in overload. They caught every detail of his face, the heat of his arm across her shoulders and along the side of her body, the way his brow furrowed in confusion. And then, suddenly, he shut down, his face becoming an expressionless mask.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, backing away. "I guess I'm too used to doing that." Offering an anemic smile, he formally thanked her for breakfast and walked out the door.

Tammy let out the breath that she suddenly realized that she had been holding, and collapsed weakly against the counter. She wondered what she would have done had he carried through on his desires. Judging by the frantic pounding of her heart, the answer to the question would undoubtedly have been nothing to stop him.

Throughout the morning as she washed the dishes and straightened the bedrooms, she couldn't get the image of David's face, so close to hers, out of her mind. She found herself reliving the moment time and again. What would it feel like to have his lips cover hers, taste of him? She wanted to know the answer to that question.

While straightening the den, she found a tape in the VCR. Frowning at the plan plastic cover, she pushed the eject button on the VCR to find out whether or not there was a label on the tape that might give her a clue as to what it contained.

The mechanism obediently rotated out, exposing a beige matte tape. In calligraphic writing were the words: David & Tamellyn - Wedding Video.

For a full minute she stared at the thing, half afraid to do anything else. Had David been watching their wedding tape? Moving slowly, almost as if she were being controlled by some outside force, she pushed the tape back into the VCR and turned on the television.

The image that burst across the screen was obviously the reception. It looked as if it had been a fun time. As weddings went, it didn't seem to be an overly large gathering, but what it lacked in size, it seemed to make up for in activities.

A limbo line was in full swing, and she and David were taking part despite the fact that they were both wearing formal attire. Somehow she managed to make it beneath the bar wearing a traditional wedding gown. After both she and David made it through, they had fallen into one another's arms laughing. The crowd had applauded loudly and then David had swung her up into his arms and kissed her thoroughly.

She sat agape through the festivities, and then rewound the tape and watched from the beginning. It began with an intimate moment with David in which he declared his undying love for the girl who would be coming down the isle in the puffy white dress. There were lots of laughs and poignant moments.

She watched as she herself shared a moment with her mother. The film was shot from across the room in the back of the church before the ceremony began. Whatever they were saying, it was an emotional moment as Elaine was dabbing tears away from her daughter's eyes. Elaine then turned toward the camera operator and waved that he should stop filming. The image went blank and appeared again as the ceremony began.

When the tape ended, Tammy buried her face in her hands. From the first few moments after she had discovered that she had lost two years of her life, Tammy had felt hounded by the time. She didn't want it back, she wasn't even sure she wanted to remember. She just wanted to go back to the way things were when her father was alive. But now, after watching the tape and seeing physical evidence of at least one happy day in the past two years, she truly felt regret that she could not remember. She wanted to be the happy woman on tape, so obviously in love.

She was pulled out of her reverie by the ringing of the phone.

David slowly hung up the phone and sighed heavily. He had been working frantically with Katy to prepare the Koshiama proposal. The time had passed so quickly that it had been near lunch before he realized what time it was. Katy had decided to order in lunch so that the group could finish. While she ordered, David called Tammy.

When she answered, she had sounded as if something was wrong. Guilt washed over him; he should have been more careful that morning. He certainly shouldn't have left like that. Maybe he shouldn't have left at all.

Unable to get any where on the phone, he had simply told her that he would be home in a couple more hours and hung up.

A light tap on the door caught his attention.

"Everything all right?" Katy stuck her head around the door.

"Yeah," he smiled wryly. "It'll straighten itself out...I hope."

"Do you know what you need?" she asked, stepping more fully into the room. Once inside, she came and leaned against the side of his desk.

"What's that?" David asked, making an effort not to chuckle. Katy had an air about her that suggested that she was up to something.

"Lots and lots of hard work to help you relieve some of that stress."

"Oh, right," David laughed, obviously disagreeing with her.

"Okay, I'll admit that advice has a touch of reverse psychology in it. But you do seem to have a lot of stress, David. Anything I can do to help?"

David studied Katy for several seconds. "Can you make my wife remember me?"

Katy shrugged helplessly. "Sorry, David. I don't think I can do that. But, I can make you forget your problems--just for a few moments," she added when he frowned.

"Katy, I don't..." David sat up straighter. He didn't like the way this conversation was going.

"David Brinkman!" Tammy shot him an admonishing look. "That is not what I'm talking about. You know me better than that! What's the matter with you?"

"Uh, I'm sorry," David felt himself flush. He hadn't blushed in years. "I didn't mean... I'm sorry, Katy. I guess you're right. I am stressed."

"You must be," she told him, a note of disapproval still evident in her voice. Standing, she moved to stand behind him. David jerked when her hands came to rest on his shoulders.

"Katy," he warned.

"Relax," she told him, soothing his shoulders. "I used to do this for my brothers all the time." Her hands dug into his muscles, firmly kneading all the places that ached.

He groaned slightly, unable to push away the guilt feelings that rose within him. "That feels wonderful, Katy. And I do appreciate this, but I'm feeling--"

"I understand," Katy stepped away, placing her hands behind her back. "I'm sorry if I've stepped over an invisible barrier. I just wanted to help."

"It's okay, Katy," David said. "It's not you. It's me. I'm just..."

"Tense," she filled in. "I know." She smiled then. "Don't forget David. If you need to talk some more, just call me. Anytime. And if you need for me to talk to Tammy, I can do that, too."

David didn't even need to consider her suggestion. He knew instinctively that it would not go over well. "No, that won't be necessary," he said.

"Okay," Katy smiled at him. "Want to go see if our lunch is ready?"