"Oh, Doctor? Were you there?" Tom Paris's voice was filled with mischief as he responded, obviously satisfied at having successfully taunted the EMH once again. Both he and Chakotay had been aware that the Doctor had linked into the comm system when the computer chirped his presence. But when the Doctor hadn't spoken for several seconds, Tom took it upon himself to comment. 

"I was merely testing the remote tricorder feed," the Doctor replied, somewhat defensively. "If you would activate the scanner, my task will be complete and I will be out of your...hair." 

Chakotay stifled a half-hearted grin at the way Tom's face screwed up at the holograph's comment. He shrugged when Tom's gaze fell on him. 

"You want me to scan something?" Tom asked, pushing the Doctor's comment aside. 

"Preferably," was the brisk reply. 

"Here goes." Tom activated the medical tricorder that had been adapted for continuous remote feed and swept it over Commander Chakotay. There were several moments of silence as the data was collected, transmitted and examined by the EMH. Finally he spoke. 

"Commander, might I suggest you develop better sleeping habits. Several key electrolytes are off balance, and your system is flooded with artificial stimulants. Please report to sickbay when you return. Emergency Medical Hologram, out." 

Tom shot Chakotay a knowing look. "Not sleeping, Commander?" 

Chakotay ignored him. "How long before we reach the rings?" 

Tom's brows shot up briefly and he spoke under his breath. "Hmmm...grumpy. Obviously not awake doing anything fun." Then more loudly. "Two more minutes." 

"Thank you," Chakotay said and entered several figures into the console. 

Tom's expression changed slightly as he focused on the console. "Maybe you need to just talk to someone about it." 

"Are you offering yourself, Mr. Paris?" Chakotay asked. 

The cocky grin wasn't exactly in place when he responded. "Actually, I was suggesting someone else..." He allowed that to sink in for several seconds. When Chakotay didn't respond, he continued speaking. "How do you think the negotiations with the Veilien's are going? They've certainly been at it a long time." 

"I don't know," Chakotay replied. "I'm sure the captain will inform us when the negotiations are completed." He added a smile when Tom looked at him strangely. 

"Maybe they're waiting on the outcome of our findings at the medical center," Tom suggested, eyeing him a moment longer. 

"Perhaps," was all Chakotay said. The Veiliens had insisted upon an immediate trade negotiation as their world was in dire need. Kathryn and Neelix had beamed to the palace of the Veilien monarch six hours earlier. She'd made all of her scheduled check-ins, but during her last transmission, she'd given detailed instructions for an away mission.  The first order was that under no circumstances was anyone to use transporter technology in any area beyond the palace grounds. 

Chakotay had listened intently as she spelled out the details. She'd been very cool and detached, professional to the letter. He might have been talking to a stranger. 

Tom's announcement that they were entering the colorful Veilien ring field interrupted his thoughts. For the remainder of the flight he busied himself with pre-landing procedures. 
 
-- -- 

Kathryn sank back into the comfortable chair with a sigh, forcing her mind to catalog the beautiful tapestries and alien figurines that adorned one of the many Veilien rooms-for-waiting. Gentle music played continuously in the background, barely within the range of normal human hearing. Its strains seemed to encourage her mind to wander to places she thought best denied. 

They would get through this. They had to. Because she didn't have time for a relationship, and she couldn't afford to be so preoccupied. The luxury of giving in to such desires was simply not hers, regardless of what Tuvok or Chakotay thought. Yet, she couldn't get his smile out of her mind, or the honorable way in which he carried himself, or how devastated he'd looked... She had to give it to Tuvok, he really had a point about her choice of Chakotay as first officer. Based on principle alone, perhaps it made no sense. But no one could argue that he hadn't done a damned fine job, even after she'd rejected him. 

That was another thing that got to her. She'd fairly well stomped on any hope he might have had, and yet, he hadn't resorted to pettiness, or tried to undermine her position. She'd been afraid that it would be the borg situation all over again, but that hadn't happened. He'd stood solidly beside her during the mission briefing, offering suggestions and arguments that had been well reasoned and logical. They did indeed work well together professionally. But personally, something was now missing. The chasm was wide and deep, and despite their command synchronicity, the world seemed cooler somehow. 

She turned as soft padding steps approached, interrupting her musings. One of the servants that she'd seen earlier when the negotiations had first begun appeared.. "Good evening, Natyah," she greeted the girl, happy to have something else to think about. "Is it time for the meetings to commence?" 

"No, highly-regarded one. His-Imminence has said that when you are done with your beverage, I am to alert him. The meeting will then commence." 

"Thank you, Natyah. Is it allowed for you to share a drink with me?" She hoped so. The Veilien males and females customarily retired to separate rooms-for-waiting during negotiations. And as there were no other female negotiators, Kathryn found herself alone with only her thoughts to keep her company. 

The young girl smiled demurely. "It would be an honor, highly regarded one." 
-- -- 

Chakotay and Tom were led to a pleasantly designed building with a glass-domed roof. The late afternoon sun shone brilliantly into the large central arboretum containing benches, tables and manicured trees of an astonishing variety. Amid the trees were ornately decorated pools, each large enough to accommodate two humanoids. Most of them were filled with elderly patients of all sizes, each accompanied by gray jacketed individuals with what must have been the Veilien medical seal emblazoned along their shoulders. 

"Hospital?" Tom surmised. 

"Precisely," their guide stated from behind them. They turned to greet the young woman who appeared startled for a moment, before gesturing that they follow her to one of the doors along the outer periphery of the dome. Tom and Chakotay exchanged curious glances but followed. 

She touched a button along the door's side and it slid open to reveal a lift. Tom attempted to make polite conversation during their short-lived journey, but the guide ignored him and continued to stare oddly at Chakotay. He politely returned her look with a smile, causing her to glance away nervously. When the lift came to a stop, she gestured that they exit and closed the doors between them without another word. 

"That was different," Tom stated, eyeing the closed lift door curiously. They were left standing in a corridor that stretched away from them in both directions. A blank gray wall stood solidly in front of them. 

"What's the matter, Tom? Used to getting *all* the attention?" Chakotay teased as he glanced  both ways, his eyes taking in every nuance of their surroundings. He caught the small click just as the wall before them began to lift. When it stopped, they found themselves standing outside of a large glass window. He was unprepared for the sight that greeted him. 

Children, hundreds of them, filled the room. Some lay on beds, some sat on the floors, but all bore expressions of sadness, pain, or dull acceptance. Amongst the pale, thin forms were more gray jacketed personnel tending to the worst cases. 

One of the gray-coats noticed them and stepped through a nearby door to greet them. "I'm Issoren, and these are our children." 

Tom seemed to snap out of a stupor when the man appeared, and cast an uncomfortable glance toward Chakotay before activating his tricorder. He quickly scanned for airborne contaminants then gestured the 'all clear'. Issoren didn't seem to mind that they'd checked. 

As the two starfleet men entered, many of the children turned to look at them. Some sat up curiously to see what new event was taking place among them. Others appeared too tired to find the change of any interest. 

Tom approached the nearest ones, scanning as he went. His expression was somber and his voice low as he catalogued patient numbers for each reading. 

"They are a sorry lot," Issoren spoke as Chakotay and him gazed over the group. "I hope that your Captain and His-Imminence can come to an amicable agreement." 

Chakotay nodded, unable to imagine a Kathryn Janeway who would turn down such pitiful souls. "How many are like this?" 

"Too many, I'm afraid." Issoren went on to inform him of other such facilities throughout the continent. "Until this outbreak, illness wasn't all that common among my people. As a result our medical technology has not advanced as quickly as other areas. We are ill prepared for anything of this magnitude. We are, however, compiling the data your doctor requested. If you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to check its progress." 

Chakotay nodded and watched the man leave. He had a moment's panic when one of the smaller children, a young girl, moved toward him. 

"Are you going to fix us?" she asked with an officious tone. Her elfin face was markedly thin and her dark eyes shadowed. What had once been a glorious head of reddish hair hung in disorganized clumps. 

He wasn't sure how to answer her question, but stooped and took her small hand in his. The frailty of the bones beneath tore at his heart. "What is your name?" he asked, feigning seriousness to equal her own. 

"Ta'ina," she said, blinking back at him. 

"I am Chakotay, Ta'ina, and we would very much like to help make you feel better. That's why my friend over there is scanning you and your friends." He gestured in Tom's direction with a reassuring smile. 

She turned and watched Tom's movements for a moment before refocusing on him. "You're very nice," she decided. "I hope that your children do not get sick like we did." 

"Back to bed now, Ta'ina." Issoren returned from a nearby console with an apologetic smile and led the small girl away. 

Chakotay was left kneeling on the floor watching as she waved a somber good-bye. He waved in return before moving dazedly to his feet. He wondered that such a short conversation could affect him so profoundly. He felt responsible for these children suddenly. Ta'ina's words had reminded him of something that he'd always thought would eventually be his. A child. 
-- -- 
 
Kathryn felt the transporter effect and relaxed into it. After fourteen hours she'd finally completed the Veilien's negotiation ceremonies.  And not a moment too soon. It would not bode well if she'd strangled the son of the Veilien monarch. 

When the transporter released her, she was surprised to find Chakotay waiting alongside Lt. Dana Harmon. She faltered a moment, but managed a weak smile for the sake of their audience. "Good evening, Commander." 

He replied with a noncommittal, "Captain," and followed her from the transporter room. Both stared steadily ahead for several moments before she felt obliged to speak again. 

"What brings you to the transporter room at 2347 hours, Commander? More grist for the rumor mill?"   She immediately regretted her words. They weren't having that kind of relationship today and the joke fell flat. 

Chakotay shot her a piercing look, but responded. "It's surely the duty of the Captain and her First Officer to keep the crew entertained at all costs." 

"Kathryn- 
"Chak-" They both spoke simultaneously. 

Chakotay continued at her gesture. "We need to talk," he said. 
"Agreed," Kathryn said. "Your quarters or mine?" 
 
-- -- 
 
Chakotay followed Kathryn into her quarters wondering what he was going to say. Yes, they needed to talk; things couldn't proceed as they had that day.  The crew would soon become uncomfortable with such a distance between the captain and first officer. But, he wasn't sure if they could go back. 

He sat when Kathryn gestured that he do so and declined the offered tea. He didn't miss the fact that she sat in a chair diagonally across from his. More distance. 

"Where do we start?" she asked, her gaze settling steadily on him. He wondered how she did that; he felt like an emotional wreck, all of his emotions were very close to the surface. 
 
Chakotay wondered, too, if this was a good time, if he shouldn't wait until he felt more in control. But he did not want to endure another day like this one. Taking a deep breath, he began speaking. "I very much value our friendship, Kathryn. I know there have some... misunderstandings lately, but I hope that we can put them behind us and continue with our friendship. I don't want to lose what we've built the past few years, I don't want to lose us." 

"We aren't going to lose us, Chakotay," Kathryn said, her expression softening. "As long as we remember that the crew is our first responsibility, and that we can't afford to allow our personal lives to interfere with that." 

"Okay," Chakotay said, and then smiled sadly. She was defining parameters with her very words. 'As long as they remembered...'. How could he forget? His options were slim, he could either accept this and move on, or he could argue the point. Arguing would get him nowhere, she'd dig in. Instead he offered to make her tea while she got more comfortable. He knew how much she hated being in the uniform this late. 

She accepted his offer gratefully and disappeared into her bedroom, leaving Chakotay to brood while he programmed a tea that would relieve the headache he suspected she had, and yet not disturb her sleep.  He took comfort in doing this small thing for her, but peace eluded him. He'd allowed his mind to drift to forbidden places, and now it was difficult to find that careful balance again. He just needed a little time. 

His journey to the medical facility hadn't helped matters. It reminded him of deeply hidden desires, images of a child - with Kathryn. She'd have her mother's eyes and, of course, her determination. He imagined her running and playing in the sun, light reflecting brilliantly off her flowing locks. Kathryn would be there. 
 
"You look a million miles away," Kathryn said, startling him out of his reverie. 

"Long day," he said simply, covering his embarrassment at having been caught daydreaming by placing the mugs carefully on a tray. When Kathryn turned to approach the sofa, he took a moment to shake off the lingering sadness that the dream left behind. This really wasn't a good time. 

He settled the tray on the table. "I decided to go with a mixture my grandmother used to call Sleepytime." 

"This wouldn't be a subtle hint, would it?" Kathryn laughed, sinking into the sofa's cushions, gesturing that he should follow suit. 

"Definitely," Chakotay replied with a small smile. "I need a good night's sleep and I think you could use one too, once in a while." 

Kathryn smiled in agreement as she wrapped her hands about the warm mug, enjoying the tea's gentle aroma. "You'll get no argument from me." After taking a small sip she turned to him. "Is there something more bothering you?" 

"Uh...just tired," Chakotay said, hoping she bought it. He decided to steer the conversation toward ship's business. That tended to work. "But I want to hear about the trade conference." 

Kathryn pinned him with a concerned look, but allowed herself to be led astray. She told him a rather hilarious account of the Veilien's many unusual trade practices, including a rather odd treaty signing ceremony involving a drink called Giglia tears.  It was obvious that she was trying to cheer them both, sensing that they needed to get as far away from the night before as possible 

Chakotay found himself laughing, resting against the sofa's cushions, almost completely at ease. He marveled at being able to simply sit there and hear her talking about her day. He wondered if this were what it would be like if they were married. Would they sit on the sofa or lie in bed and discuss the events of the day? 

His eyes traced each minute movement of her face and hands as she continued to speak. If they were closer, he wouldn't have to limit his caresses to visual ones, he could reach out and touch... He suddenly realized that she'd stopped talking. He smiled and tried to mentally review what she'd said.  She'd asked  about the medical facility... 

He immediately sobered, and moved to a sitting position with a slight frown. His moment of peace was slipping away. "It was bad," he said, attempting to mentally detach from the memories. "The Doctor is going through the data now." 

Kathryn mirrored his movements and sat up as well, edging slightly closer so that their knees almost touched. "I'm sure he will do his best," she offered. "As he is so fond of reminding us, he will no doubt find a miraculous cure in the nick of time." 

Chakotay forced a smile, but his heart wasn't in it. He very much wanted to help those children, but the expression on the Doctor's face hadn't given him much hope. He wanted to help one tiny girl in particular. For what seemed the hundredth time that day, her image flitted through his mind. It pained him to imagine that she wouldn't be able to grow to have her first kiss, or her first real love 

"This illness affects only the children," he told her. "And they don't have much time at all." Kathryn looked appalled as he continued to tell her of the many hundreds he'd seen in just one facility. Ta'ina's solemn face beckoned him again "There was this one little girl --" He broke off suddenly, he didn't think he could repeat what she'd said to him at the moment. There was no way he could make light of the subject that was so dear to his heart. "She was beautiful, Kathryn," he said instead. 

Kathryn eyed him for a moment and then spoke as if she'd just had a revelation. "You want children, don't you? Oh Chakotay, you'd make a wonderful father." 

She hadn't meant anything by the words, he knew. But it served as the proverbial straw, and all of the emotions he'd been struggling to stifle all evening rushed to the surface and overwhelmed him. How could he answer her question without revealing the true depth of his disappointment? 

He loved Kathryn Janeway with such an intensity that on some days he couldn't separate her goals from his. He'd promised to stay by her side, and he had no intention or desire to renege on that promise. But his extended hopes and dreams were no more. There would be no family, no children of his own. He would simply have to stop wanting. He closed his eyes for a moment in silent mourning for the daughter of his imagination, that dark-haired blue-eyed child that could not be. 

"Chakotay?" Kathryn touched his cheek lightly when he didn't respond. 

His eyes opened involuntarily at her touch, still brimming with emotions long buried.  He tried to reign them in, to disguise them with his usual facade, but it wasn't working. Kathryn's eyes locked with his and she read it all there in his gaze. He didn't have the strength to look away. 

She seemed caught by the moment as well, and a raw emotional response shone in her eyes. She whispered something softly, barely an exhalation, as she leaned in toward him. But she was so close that he felt its warmth against his lips. His eyes slid closed as he languished in the sensation of her lips pressing softly against the corner of his mouth. 

He knew that she meant to pull away after that, but something happened and they shifted. Her lips brushed softly over his and remained. Shock rushed his system, and he reached out for her, resting his hands on either side of her neck. She didn't pull away, but parted her lips beneath his. 

Chakotay was like a drowning man. The taste, the smell of her was intoxicating, adding to the chaotic whirlwind that he was helpless to stop -- that he didn't want to stop. It took over his reason, making him believe there was no one or nothing else, just the two of them joined in this world of their own. When she froze beneath him, his mind struggled uncomprehendingly to figure out what had happened. 

She pulled away, drawing a trembling hand to her lips. Shock was written all over her. 

Cold dread settled in the vicinity of Chakotay's heart. Involuntarily he reached out toward her, but she pushed further away and jumped up from the sofa. 

"This can't happen," she said shakily, backing away. Then more firmly. "This cannot happen." 

Chakotay froze, realizing his mistake. He couldn't speak, couldn't breathe. He had to get out. She didn't try to stop him. 
-- -- 

Kathryn paced from one end of her quarters to the other. Several sleepless hours had passed, and she was still turning the same questions over in her mind. How had it happened? How? It wasn't that she hadn't wanted it to happen, because she had, perhaps a little too much. But how could she let it happen after all she'd said about not allowing their personal lives to interfere with duty? 

She'd only meant to comfort him, to allay the hurt she'd seen shining so brilliantly in his eyes. In the moments before he'd left she'd seen that her mission was a success. She had replaced the hurt. She'd replaced it with an emptiness that was so much more painful. She should talk to him. 
 
"Computer locate Commander Chakotay." She had to let him know that... What? What was she going to tell him? 

"Commander Chakotay is on holodeck 2." 

She moved toward the door and then stopped. What was she going to say to him? To do? What could she possibly do to improve the situation? She ran a hand over her forehead and resumed her pacing, the headache was returning. 

A movement from the corner of her eye caused her to wonder if she were developing a migraine. Turning fully, she found that something was happening on one of her side tables. Headache forgotten, she approached slowly. There is was again. Small, barely visible sparkles rose slowly from her butterfly disk. Kathryn suspected that the dimness of the room added to the effect. Tentatively she reached out an touched it. It was warm, almost as if it retained some residual body heat from a previous user. She wondered... 

Before she could act on an investigatory impulse, the comm system activated. "Bridge to Captain Janeway." 
-- -- 
 
Chakotay reread his mission plan, double checking all of the details. He glanced at his chronometer, 0532. Both B'Elanna and Ensign Iroho were late. Not that he could blame them - he'd found the order on his personal console shortly after 0500 hours, signed by Captain Janeway. Since her own visit with the Veilien prince wasn't until later in the afternoon, he wondered if she was trying to get rid of him until she could get her bearings.  Well, he'd be certain to not give her any reason to fault his work. 

He paused at the sound of the doors opening for B'Elanna, who was carrying an overstuffed survey pack full of needed equipment. He muttered a gruff 'good morning' at her approached, and turned   back to his PADD. 

B'Elanna shot him a look. "Morning yourself." Then giving him a once-over, "Has any one told you that you look like--" 

"Yes, as a matter of fact someone has," Chakotay said softly. Between Tom's questions, Tuvok's "Are you well, Commander?" and now B'Elanna, he was batting a thousand. 

"Anything I can do to help?" She asked, lowering her voice to a more private level. He didn't miss the concern that had suddenly come into her eyes. 

"I'm fine," he said, brushing her concern aside with a small gesture as he continued to study his PADD. He hoped that if he looked busy enough she'd let it drop. No such luck, she crossed her arms and glared at him. 
 
"You really don't expect me to believe that do you? " 

"Actually, yes," he nodded, giving up on the PADD and moving to store their packs in the rear shuttle compartments. 

"Too bad," B'Elanna followed. "If it were me walking around looking as if I'd lost my best friend, you'd have something to say about it."  Chakotay turned to face her, a sharp remark on the tip of his tongue. But her voice softened and she placed a comforting hand on his arm. "Maybe you just need to talk to someone about it." 

The fact that B'Elanna had reached out to him spoke volumes about the depth of her concern. Chakotay suddenly felt very tired, all of his earlier irritation drained away. "I've been told that, too." He spoke with a small, sad smile. 
 
"I'm sure the two of you will work it out," B'Elanna said with an encouraging squeeze. "You're too much a part of one another not to." Chakotay stared at the young Klingon, alternately stunned by her insight and struck by the irony of his situation: the woman he felt closest to in the entire universe was the furthest away. The moment was interrupted when a yawning Ensign Imara Iroho came onboard the shuttle. B'Elanna took a quick step back. "So tell me again why we're doing this?" 

Chakotay snapped out of his stupor and answered the question. "It's a Veilien tradition," he said. "Before we can take anything from the moon, including tricorder readings, we must be properly introduced. It's actually similar to one of the ancient customs of my people." 

"I suppose this all makes sense to you, then?" B'Elanna remarked dryly as she settled into the co-pilot's seat. Iroho followed the conversation with seeming interest from the back of the shuttle. 

"It does." Chakotay double checked to be sure that Iroho was settled before he activated the shuttle's thrusters and piloted a course out of the bay. "I'm surprised you don't remember the particular one. Or perhaps I need to re-introduce you to a few patience rituals." 

B'Elanna barked a sharp disdainful laugh. "You and what army of animal guides?" 

"You are rather hard on them, aren't you?" Chakotay smiled. 

B'Elanna smiled in return. "A bug that ugly? How was I supposed to know that it was supposed to be my animal guide? Any one would have stomped it...." 
-- -- 

The shuttle's rear door opened to reveal the gray vista that was the Veilien number three moon. In comparison with the colorful rings of Veilia - which arched across the sky - the number three moon was particularly bland. Seemingly endless reaches of gray sand stretched ahead, broken only by the  darker gray shadows of hills and rocks. 

Chakotay could well understand why the Veiliens had chosen this site for their ceremony. Despite the bland scenery, there was a sort of ethereal silence to the place, an almost sacredness. He stood very still, absorbing it, waiting. Suddenly he felt an odd shifting sensation. And then he opened his eyes ... 
 
~Brilliant sun cut across his unsuspecting gaze. He threw up a hand and shielded them from the combination of blinding rays and reflective golden sand. A rough wind blew, causing bits of sand to blow up into his face, and sting his cheeks. All ready the heat of the place seeped through his uniform. 

A swift clattering to his right pulled his attention away from his discomfort. He turned in an attempt to ascertain the cause of the racket, but saw only tiny pebbles rolling against a large stone wall. 

The wall  seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, yet he sensed that it had always been there...would always be there. Unless... The thought remained incomplete as a sharp call echoed across the sky. Chakotay threw his head back and looked up, almost directly into the sun's path. At the last moment, he mind told him that this would not be a wise course without eye protection. But he found that there was no sun, and no golden sands. Only the gray that stretched on and on and on...~ 

Chakotay gasped when he realized what had happened. But there was no time to ponder the strange event as a thin Veilien male was approaching. 

The man was dressed in loose gray trousers and a knee-length tunic, and seemed to flow from the grayness around him. A smile spread across his heavily lined face as he drew nearer. "I am called Meke." His voice was gravelly, but powerful. "I am a teacher of the old ways. " 

Chakotay stepped forward to introduce his team, but the old man cut him off with a gesture, then bowed deeply. "I am but a lowly teacher, you need not share your name with me. The moon will know who you are and if you mean harm." 

Chakotay wondered at the man's choice of words, but gestured that B'Elanna and Iroho should follow. Meke led them to an outcropping which over-looked a steep drop-off. There was a large body of water beneath that twisted a winding path into the distance. 

"Behold the lifeblood." Meke said, gesturing toward the darkness. "You must remain here until the veil is lifted. When that is complete you may carry on with your business. It has been an honor." With another deep bow, he backed away and disappeared into the grayness. 

B'Elanna watched the little man go with a curious expression. "So we stand here and wait...for what?" 

Chakotay pointed toward the speckled sky. "You can see Veilia's rings from here," he said. "It's called the Veil. When this moon comes sunward, the Veil is no longer visible - the Veil is lifted. Look, it's happening now." 

The dimness of the sky was beginning to noticeably brighten. As it did the colorful rings of the planet gently faded until only the grayness of the sky remained. The entire change from darkness to what would pass for light lasted less than a minute. 

"Nice display," B'Elanna said glancing away from the sky. "But down here we just went from gray at night to gray in the day. Does this mean the moon likes us?" Her hand was already hovering over her tricorder. 

"I believe it does," Chakotay said with a smile at her impatience. "Proceed with the survey." 

Moments later, the half-Klingon let out a startled exclamation. "Chakotay! This water is literally brimming with metals... " Her fingers flew across the small keypad as she ran additional metallurgical analyses.  "I'm going down for a sample." She started around the steep edge of the outcropping almost before Chakotay could acknowledge and send Iroho with her.  He followed at a more leisurely pace, scanning the surrounding sand and rocks as he went. 

He was only halfway down the incline when a movement caught his eyes. He squinted, but still wasn't sure of what he saw. After quickly reconfiguring his tricorder, he trained it in the direction of his curiosity and was surprised to find a woman and a small infant in the waters. He frowned at a warning indication and double-checked his readings. The reading remained the same. 

"No," he whispered painfully and set off at a run across the shifting sands.  It took several minutes to reach the woman, and she turned sharply at his approach. One hand had been methodically sprinkling waters over the child in her arms, but they paused in mid action when her eyes settled on Chakotay. As she stood and moved toward him, unafraid, he noticed that dried tears had left tracks along her cheeks. 

"Honored one." Again the bow. "I fear it is too late for my baby." She looked sadly at the small, pitifully gasping, bundle in her arms before extending it to him. "The Veils could not save him," she said. "Can you?"  . 

Chakotay eyed the bedraggled woman for a moment. Something about her demeanor bothered him, but he didn't focus on it. There were more important matters to attend. Sickly gray flesh peeked from beneath the edges of the swaddling blanket. It was impossible to tell the gender, or the age. B'Elanna and Iroho arrived just as he took the small, wheezing bundle into his arms. 

"Chakotay?" B'Elanna called softly, standing back at a distance. It was obvious that she was unsure where he wanted to go with this. 

"Continue with the survey," he said softly, his eyes fixed intently upon the child. Suddenly coming to a decision, he turned toward the woman. "Will you come with me?" 

The woman's eyes brightened as her head bobbed in assent. 

Chakotay shot one last look at B'Elanna and Iroho, who suddenly saw the necessity to return to their scans, and called for a beam-out directly to sickbay. 
-- -- 

"Chakotay to Janeway." 

Kathryn felt a shock go through her body. The last person she'd expected to hear from was Commander Chakotay. It took a composing moment before she answered. 

"Captain, I think you should come to sickbay." His voice gave nothing away. 

"Acknowledged. On my way." She was out of her seat before she'd completed the sentence. Aside from the fact that Chakotay wasn't even supposed to be on the ship, if there were a medical emergency, the EMH would have informed her. Had something happened to the away team? Her mind spun with the possibilities. By the time she reached sickbay her mind was so full of scenarios that when she saw the bedraggled woman sitting near her first officer, she was struck momentarily dumb. 

Chakotay spoke quietly and gently extricated himself from the woman's grasping hands. Kathryn couldn't help but note the way the woman's eyes followed him as he stood. She held nothing of the worldliness that had surrounded the members of the trade negotiations. In fact, if Kathryn had to choose, she'd have thought Chakotay had found the woman on some backwater, pre-warp planet. She now had an idea why the Veilien's wanted to limit their use of advanced technology before the general populace. 

When her eyes rose to meet Chakotay's, his trepidation was obvious, and not simply because of the night before. A sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach as she gazed around. She was willing to bet that B'Elanna, Iroho and the shuttle were still on the number three moon. 

"What happened, Commander?" she asked when they'd stepped several paces away for privacy. 

He stood stiffly before her. "I'm sorry, Captain," he began, his eyes focused somewhere in the vicinity of his shoes. "I brought Tahl and her child on board with the use of transporter technology." 

She'd figured as much. She just hoped he had a heck of a good reason. "Go ahead," she prompted. 
 
"Her child was very ill, its lifesigns were fading." His eyes rose to meet hers briefly before skittering away. "I couldn't let her...die." 
 
Kathryn nodded. She couldn't fault his actions, she would have been surprised if he'd done anything less. Especially since the illness of these children seemed to have affected him even more deeply than she'd initially thought. "I think you need to tell me the whole story." 

Chakotay nodded, meeting her eyes more solidly. "While we were surveying the moon, we came across a large body of water. Many of the metals useful to the ship were suspended within it. This woman was bathing her child in the waters --" 

"But that water would have been hazardous," Kathryn injected. There were no metals useful to Voyager that would be recommended for humanoid consumption." 

"Yes," Chakotay agreed with her before continuing. "Her child was ill. Obviously suffering from a much more severe case of the ailment than the other children. The Doctor is examining the child now." 

Kathryn glanced up at him, a frown crossing her brow. "Worse? Didn't the physician say that the ones at the medical facility were the worse?" 

Chakotay nodded, there was obviously something else on his mind. "According to Tahl this illness has been around for much longer than the Veiliens led us to believe. It did not become a cause for concern until it reached the ranks of the children of the middle class." 

Kathryn glanced at the woman and back to him. She wasn't prepared to go accusing the Veiliens of lying. "Has the Doctor made any progress?" 

As if on cue, the Doctor appeared from a rear room. "Ah, good. Both of you are here." He carried the infant to its mother along with a bottle containing a yellowish fluid. The woman transferred her adoring gaze from Chakotay to the Doctor and then to the child. Despite the situation, Kathryn found herself smiling at the contented gurgling noises the child made as it consumed the liquid. Her eyes were drawn to Chakotay as he too watched the child. There was an expression of such longing on his face that she glanced away quickly, feeling as if she were intruding on something private. 
 
The Doctor's evaluation interrupted her thoughts.  "The child was suffering from a number of heavy metal poisonings - not the least of which was lead, gelerium, and ceridium. What did she do, soak the child in chemical waste?" At Chakotay's expression, the Doctor's eyes widened, but he continued. "In any case, the plot thickens. Adult Veilien's have a very formidable metabolism very little affects them. Regardless, I wouldn't recommend ingesting heavy metals. Which, by the way isn't directly what caused the child's condition." 

"What exactly *did* cause the illness, Doctor?" Kathryn asked. He really was enjoying himself. The problem must have been a very difficult one to diagnose, and this was his way of patting himself on the back. 

"When I scanned the child, there were traces of water in her garments. Within the garments was a microbe. This microbe, once in the child's system is absorbed by the Veilien equivalent of the immune system. Normally, this microbe is easily handled, but the elements and various other by-products have cause this microbe to mutate. The mutated microbe is completely absorbed into the immune system where it then proceeds to decimate the rest of the child's immune system. And that is why the rest of the children are getting ill as well. They are all ingesting this mutated microbe in some way." 

"But why didn't any of the adults become ill?" Kathryn asked. 

"The children's immune systems are still assimilating new 'illnesses', if you will, to provide for the rest of its life's immunity. It does this by absorbing illnesses. Most of the adults have all ready encountered this microbe in its unaltered form and having previously sensitized, simply destroy it. The children who are ill, I suspect, are the ones who have never encountered this microbe, and thereby absorb it and become ill." 

"So you've found a cure?" Chakotay asked, still anxious. 

"Certainly. But once one has been infected, the immune system remains susceptible. The cure will work for a time, but each successive re-infection will be increasingly difficult to treat, until the inoculation no longer counteracts the microbe's affect. Preventative measures against re-infection must be taken." 

Kathryn nodded with a smile and touched the EMH gently on the back. "Good work, Doctor." 

The Doctor shot a her a surprised but happy grin and returned to his office. 

Kathryn turned her attention to Chakotay. "Please see our guest back to her home. It looks as if I'll have something additional to discuss with the Veiliens today." He nodded his acknowledgment. 

"And Chakotay," she called after him after he'd turned away.  At his questioning glance, she continued with a tentative smile. "Use a shuttle this time, would you?" 

A slow, beauteous smile spread across his face. "Yes, Ma'am." Kathryn left sickbay feeling positively lightheaded. 
-- -- 
 
Kathryn was sitting at her desk gazing at her butterfly disk when the door chime went. The surface of the tiny device was still dark, so she knew who wasn't on the other side of the door. Though they hadn't made plans, she hadn't known if he would honor their standing lunch appointment. He'd probably remained on the moon and taken lunch on the shuttle, she decided. 

"Come in," she called, curious as to who was on the other side of her door. She'd narrowed the list to three possible suspects when the doors slid open and Tuvok entered the room. He'd been her second choice. 

"How can I help you, Tuvok?" she asked, noting his stiff demeanor. The Vulcan looked mildly uncomfortable. 

"I wish to discuss a matter. It is of a personal nature, but may affect the well-being of the ship." 

Kathryn stiffened slightly, but gestured that he continue. She vividly remembered his discussion of a personal matter the day before and the chain of events that followed. She sincerely hoped he wasn't here to stir the pot some more. 

"I have been having dreams, Captain." Tuvok began to speak. "Disturbing dreams in which I've felt an alien presence." 

Kathryn decided that this discussion would fall under the heading of a different pot. 
-- -- 
 
Two hours later found Kathryn Janeway sitting in the outer offices of the Veilien lesser palace. 
Unlike her previous visits, she hadn't been escorted to one of the plush rooms-for-waiting, having been led instead to a completely different part of the palace. The area in which she'd been seated was flanked on three sides by tall gray panels. Every few seconds she could hear a barely perceptible click, which she assumed was some type of surveillance or security device. 

After having calculated the timing of the clicks, and the most efficient positioning of a vid-monitor several times, her mind began to wander. The natural direction was toward Chakotay. What in the world was she going to do about him? She felt as if their relationship was at a crossroads, as it had been for far too long Recent events were pushing her to choose a direction. 

When she'd first approached Chakotay about merging their two crews, she'd insisted on a Starfleet crew because of the disciplined atmosphere it would afford. Many of the Maquis members had resented that at first, but they'd pulled through it admirably. Starfleet protocols had become the building blocks with which their integrated crew had been forged. How could she tear that down for personal reasons?  Once the first step was taken, it would become a slippery slope. 

Besides, she'd come to pride herself on her ability to toe the line, sacrificing any and all for the good of her people.  Knowing that things were well with them would have to be enough. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of opening doors. The Veilien prince, Garaden, appeared around the edge of the sitting area.  "Captain Janeway, it is a pleasure to see you again." 

Kathryn exchanged the expected pleasantries and allowed herself to be led before a set of double doors flanked by armed guards.  Garaden gestured broadly, allowing her to enter first. 

She was taken aback by the view that greeted her. The room could only be described as magnificent; truly fit for royalty. The king himself sat regally among the sumptuous appointments in a wide-backed chair. The chair appeared to have been carved from a very large tree, it's back shaped into a waving pattern of wood  that had been shined to a high gloss. 

His majesty was flanked on both sides by a trio of men dressed in robes similar to that of Garaden, with the exception of the royal crest. They all turned to watch Kathryn's entry. Garaden stepped slightly ahead of her and honored the king with a bow. Kathryn immediately followed suit. 
 
Garaden spoke. "My King, may I present Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager." Then gesturing toward the gray-haired man on the throne. "Captain Kathryn Janeway, it is my honor to present the Reigning-Chief-of-all-Peoples Macaren, Master of the Veil." 

Kathryn nodded slightly at the older man as he sized her up. His eyes appeared to miss nothing as he looked her over. Kathryn maintained a steady gaze under his perusal. 

"You may speak," he said. "I and my counsel will listen." 

"Our Doctor has found a cure for the illness of your people." Her words caused a small fervor among the gathered group of men. The six men alongside of the king didn't speak, but their expressions and the startled glances that passed among them told their thoughts clearly enough. 

Garaden snapped a finger and servants appeared from several locations around the room bearing chairs. They settled a chair by each of the six and by Kathryn and Garaden. They all sat. Garaden began to speak. The king, whose seat remained elevated above the rest, simply watched. 

"I am amazed at the abilities of your Doctor. Perhaps you will be willing to trade him. There are many worlds who would pay dearly for such an asset." 

"I'm afraid we won't do that, Your-Imminence. It was actually an incident on your number 3 moon that led to the solution. My first officer found a woman bathing a child in a body of water. It was only a matter of time before our Doctor was able to determine that the ailments were linked to the contaminants found there." 

Garaden frowned slightly. "The number 3 moon, you say?" Kathryn thought she noticed a look pass between Garaden and one of the counselors. 

"Yes," Kathryn nodded. "The woman had some interesting things to say about the illness, and the manner in which it presented itself." 
 
"I know what you're suggesting," Garaden said. "And you're right. The illness was largely ignored when it existed mostly among the lower classes - the miners. But not everyone in Veilien society turned a blind eye. Our society is steeped in tradition. Change does not come easily. I've worked very hard to have the situation looked at - our economy is sustained to an ever-increasing degree through our mining operations, and it is the lower class that labors in the mines." 

Kathryn accepted his response. She wasn't here to challenge this planet's societal evolution. "The Doctor has developed an inoculation, and will make it available to any and all of your citizens who need it. He will also provide instructions on its synthesis. He mentioned, though, that changes need to be made to prevent re-infection." 

"What sort of changes?" Garaden asked. 

"The woman was bathing her child in a body of water on the moon. It is full of a highly toxic combination of refinery by-products which have caused a particular microbe to mutate. This mutated microbe is the actual cause of the illness. The inoculation will become ineffective if re-infection continues to occur." 

Garaden looked thoughtful for a moment. "That body of water is used for many different things. It sits upon a sacred site and it will be very difficult to prevent our citizens from performing their ceremonies there." 

 "The Doctor was very insistent on that point," Kathryn said with  diplomatic smile. As far as she was concerned the point was exactly negotiable. Something would have to be done. 

Garaden's eyes were troubled and he looked toward his father in mild askance before speaking. Kathryn wasn't able to discern anything from the man's stiff countenance. "We can't do that. It's a very important part of the spiritual life of my people. Is there no other way?" 

"Perhaps," Kathryn said, looking carefully between the King Macaren and Garaden. After so long in trade negotiations she had a pretty good idea as to how the Veiliens operated, and she'd come with a contingency plan. The idea was startlingly simple, she thought, and if they went about it carefully they should be able to proceed with barely a bruise to the prime directive. 

All of the men paid rapt attention as she laid out her plan. Several of the counselors looked mildly intrigued, Garaden hung on to her every word. King Macaren remained stone-faced throughout her explanation. She wondered idly if there were a Veilien equivalent to poker. When she finished speaking, silence descended over the room. 

All eyes fell on the king. His eyes locked with Garaden's, but his expression never changed. "It is in violation of tradition." 

Garaden showed no surprise at his father's words. Kathryn would have bet that he'd expected those exact words. "I ask, King, that you allow the counsel to decide." 

Macaren nodded once. And turned to the first counselor to his right. The round-faced man asked Kathryn about the time required to implement her plan and what type of planetary resources would be needed. The questions continued all the way around the circle until each of the counselors had asked questions of her or made comments to the king. The questioning in many cases was lengthy, so tables and refreshments were brought in as the discussion continued. 

After all of the counselors were done, Garaden rose and began to speak. "All of our questions have been answered satisfactorily, father. I would hear your thoughts?" 

The king seemed to straighten in his chair before speaking. "I have no doubt that Captain Janeway and her people mean well, but there have been too many changes already. The troubles that plague our society are because the old ways have been violated. The traditions have always served as a protection. We should allow the inoculations, and nature will take care of itself." 

Garaden responded immediately. "A society cannot survive if it remains still; her children must move forward. Nature is in trouble and we have the means to fix that. We cannot allow the path to control us when the power to change it is ours." 

"And a heady power it is," Macaren spoke a bit more loudly, showing more emotion than Kathryn had seen from him in her entire acquaintance. "You are not Master of the Veil yet. My word is still law. This marring of tradition has lead to, and will only lead to, more trouble. The castes no longer honor their betters; children no longer respect their parents; outsiders tell us how we are to live." 

All eyes fell on Garaden when the king fell silent, the argument now belonged to him and his father. Garaden, when he replied, was subdued. "I mean you no disrespect father. I have always admired your strength and dignity. You are a fair Master, and I can only hope that I may partially fill your shoes. But I fear that there is no other solution to our present dilemma. 

"The suggestion of Captain Janeway is but a small thing and will allow the people to continue their ceremonies unharmed. It is the lesser of two greater evils. It could mean our survival." 

Macaren shook his head. "The land must remain sacred, mildly tainted is tainted nonetheless. Tradition is the glue that has held our people together from the beginning. We must find Veilien solutions for Veilien people." 

Garaden's shoulders slumped in defeat. "I fear that we will be unsuccessful." 

Macaren rested solemnly back into his throne chair. "The first thing heard before the wall crumbles is the sound of the pebbles falling. By then it is too late to protect the sand. The road that she proposes could lead to the destruction of all that we have built for more than a thousand generations. " 

 Garaden contemplated his father's words for several moments before speaking softly. "But if that wall becomes one that crushes, father, perhaps the crumbling is better for the sand." 

Kathryn felt a chill run the length of her spine as the room suddenly stilled, and the king's emotionless facade failed. All eyes immediately turned to Garaden, whose gaze was locked with that of his father. After several moments of some silent communication, Macaren regained his composure and signaled the counselors. 

His voice was gruff when he spoke. "As my son speaks, so is my recommendation." 
 -- -- 

Chakotay returned to Voyager shortly after alpha shift's dinner hour. After having delivered Tahl safely back to her village, he'd taken time to do an aerial survey of the moon's exceedingly bland terrain. B'Elanna and Iroho had long since returned to Voyager. He'd remained behind to help Beta team set up the base camp, which was located near one of the poles. The site was remote enough so that none of the many villages that dotted the moon's surface would be disturbed by their excavations. In spite of his exhaustion, he had to admit that the day had been very productive. 
 
He briefly considered having dinner in the mess hall, but decided instead to order something in his quarters. He'd been on his feet all day, and he longed to be free of his boots. It wasn't that they were uncomfortable, they'd been replicated for his specific comfort. He was just happier out of them. Kathryn harassed him mercilessly about it. That thought brought a gentle smile to his lips. 
 
After her small joke about the shuttle, he felt certain that their friendship was not lost. Whatever she was willing to give, it would be enough. 

Turning toward the replicator he ordered a small bowl of lentil soup, bread and chilled tea then moved his portable console over to the coffee table. There was no doubt a frightening number of reports to catch up on, he might as well accomplish something while he was eating. But first, to get settled. 

He rested his feet on the coffee table and balanced his console across his lap. The dinner tray went on the side table. He sighed and activated the console. The next thing he knew, he was waking up to the sound of his door chime. 

His dinner tray remained untouched at his side, and his personal console had slid to one side, having long since initiated an automatic shut down. Running his hands wearily over his face, he came to his feet and called a sleepy "come in". His next thought was clearing away his minor mess. He heard the doors slide open as he returned the tray to the replicator. 

When his visitor didn't immediately enter the room, he turned back curiously, wondering who might be on the other side of the door. "Captain?" he called, wondering at her strange behavior and gestured that she enter. He certainly hoped nothing else had changed since the last time they'd spoken. 
 
She nodded sharply and entered. Chakotay thought he detected equal parts determination and nervousness. 

"Surely the meeting didn't go that badly," he gestured her to a chair, attempting to make light of the situation. "You didn't blow anyone out of an airlock did you?" Kathryn managed a tiny smile after a moment and shook her head. Chakotay added distracted to the list of things he was sensing from her. 

"Do you remember when we got those letters from home?" She asked, seemingly out of nowhere. 

Chakotay nodded. "Yes." 

"When Mark told me that he'd moved on, I was upset. But it wasn't because I was losing someone, or because I was being replaced - he'd been something to hold on to, another reason to get home. I was afraid that without that connection my resolve would weaken. It was the same with the crew settling down - it all seemed like a distraction from our ultimate goal." 

"And now," Chakotay prompted, he was sure that there was something more. 

"And now, we're more of a family than we've ever been, and I don't think it's caused them to lose focus. Nevertheless, I'm the one who is responsible for keeping the hope alive. It's part of my duty as Captain. I have to remember that."  Her voice trailed away, and she seemed to be lost in thought. 

"Yes we are more of a family," Chakotay agreed with an edge of confusion to his tone. "Is something wrong, Kathryn?" 

"Chakotay, I heard the pebbles falling." 

Chakotay blinked, the words struck a vague chord in him, but he was more lost than ever. "Kathryn?" he begged for clarity. He loved his captain dearly, but she was making no sense. 

And then she shifted gears on him again. "What are your hopes? What do you want, for the future I mean, for the crew, for...us?" 

Chakotay sat absolutely still, he hadn't seen that one coming. And it was a loaded question if he'd ever heard one. He had absolutely no idea how to answer it. "Why do you ask?" 

Kathryn turned away slightly. "You have a right to be suspicious after all that's happened in the past few days," she acknowledged. Then, sighing heavily as if gathering her courage, "So I'll go first. My hope is that it isn't too late." 

Chakotay felt his heart lurch. "Too late?" he asked. 

Kathryn spoke somewhat breathlessly. "I hope that when we do get back home, that it isn't too late for the crew to see their loved ones again. I hope, right now, that it isn't too late... for us." 

"Us?" Chakotay asked, feeling slightly lightheaded. He thought he'd just heard... He needed clarification. 

Kathryn moved hesitantly toward him, her eyes glistening. "I hope it isn't too late for us, Kathryn and Chakotay." Their eyes locked as she moved closer still, slowly stradling his lap. "I love you, Chakotay," she said, leaning in closer. "So much..." Her words trailed off as her lips touched his, softly at first. Chakotay's response was immediate, and unrestrained. They were both breathless when they pulled apart. 

"I love you, Kathryn," Chakotay whispered, drawing her into his arms again. "You're worth any wait."