"Point!" B'Elanna yelled as she backhanded the flying disk in the Commander's direction. It sailed over his right shoulder, but he spun, caught it and  returned it to the young Chief Engineer's side of the court. 

"A bit too sure of ourselves?" Chakotay taunted, half out of breath. "Must be that husband of yours rubbing off."  Her reply was a laughing snort. 

"I think you've been practicing, Chakotay. Either that or I simply have been remiss in mopping up the floor with you." She shot the disk back quickly toward the opposite side of the court, obviously hoping to catch him off guard. It didn't work, he anticipated her move and returned the shot easily. 

"You've definitely been practicing," she said, diving to make the return. 

Chakotay simply laughed, and with a backhand motion, fired the game-winning shot.  He really hadn't been practicing, all just felt right with his world. Voyager hadn't been attacked by a hostile alien civilization for over a standard month, the crew was healthy and happy, the ship's systems were all functioning normally, and one Captain Kathryn Janeway was showing signs of coming around. 

B'Elanna turned and looked at him, shaking her head. "You've got it real bad, you know that?" Her words were spoken with mild reproach, but her eyes were full of affection. 

"Got what bad?" Chakotay asked, turning to gather his towel and equipment. He knew what she was talking about, but wasn't going to discuss it with  her. Not because he wanted to deny it, or that he was ashamed, but the tentative hope that there might be a future for he and Kathryn Janeway was simply too precious, too delicate to voice for fear that it might evaporate like a mist. He was surprised when she let it drop, switching to ship's business. 

"Vorik has made several suggestions for modifying the shuttle craft." There was something in her tone that hinted that there was more to her statement. 

"Modifications?" Chakotay fell into step beside her as they headed out of the holodeck. Maintaining working shuttles was always an issue.  Any suggestions or improvements would be immediately reviewed. 

"It's not a half bad idea," B'Elanna continued. "It involves a homing sequence for away missions. If something were to happen to the pilot, the shuttle would automatically return to Voyager." 

"What if some of the team are off the shuttle?" Chakotay asked. It was a logical question, one of the first that the review board would ask. 

"The onboard sensors track combadge signals and life signs. It determines if the surroundings are safe, the location of all logged passengers and their condition, if necessary. There is an incredibly long list of protocols that must be met before auto-return begins. There is also a voice recognition pattern, in case the pilot is injured. It can even be activated from Voyager. It really appears to be well thought-out." 

Chakotay's brows rose as he identified the thing he'd noted in her voice. B'Elanna was impressed with Vorik's work, and was having difficulty coming to terms with it. The young Vulcan officer always seemed to be in her way. He smiled and suggested they submit the proposal at the next staff meeting. 

B'Elanna nodded her agreement, looking slightly confused as she continued speaking. "I'd like to bring Vorik too, since it was his idea and because he tested the models." 

"Sounds good," Chakotay agreed. 
-- -- 

"Chakotay to Bridge. Shuttle A is a go." Kathryn looked up from her station as Chakotay's voice sounded over the bridge. She turned toward B'Elanna, who stood nearby monitoring. The half-Klingon nodded once and tapped in several more commands. 

"Acknowledged, Commander. Shuttle B, what is your status?" 

"We're ready to rock-n-roll, Captain," Tom's voice sounded over the link. 

"Great," B'Elanna muttered only loud enough for the Captain to hear. "More new words for Vorik." Janeway stifled a laugh; the young Ensign's vocabulary was getting to be very interesting of late. 

"It's all yours Mr. Chakotay, proceed when ready. Janeway out." There were several moments of silence as the image of the two shuttle craft exiting the shuttle bay flashed across the screen. 

"Both shuttlecraft have been successfully deployed, Captain," Tuvok spoke unnecessarily. 

Kathryn let out a satisfied breath. Both shuttles had been fitted with the new systems in just under two days. She was very proud of her crew and the way they continued to show how well they worked together. They were dedicated to the ship and to one another. 

"Mr. Kim, how will the test parameters alter our E.T.A. to the Veilien home world?" 

"Not much, Captain," Harry responded. "We should reach Veilia in 37 hours and 22 minutes, barring any difficulties." 

Kathryn smiled. Difficulties were just par for the course. Only, over the last month it seemed as if they had been granted a reprieve. She hoped it lasted, but she wasn't counting on it. Still, it was a nice to have a breather. With a skip in her step, she turned the bridge over to Tuvok and retired to her ready room. 

Her eyes fell to the mug sitting on the edge of her desk. Chakotay must have left it the night before as they'd discussed final details on the test flight. They'd decided that Vorik and Tom would pilot shuttle A, while Chakotay and Lt. Briggs would take the second shuttle. He'd kidded that with he and Vorik off-ship, the shuttlecraft incident rate would plummet. She'd laughed and hit him with a pillow. He really was silly at times. 

She found that her hand strayed to the butterfly disk, as she'd taken to calling it. With a small smile, she pulled the device from her pocket and fingered its shimmery surface - but there was something different. Purposeful strides took her to her desk to retrieve a tricorder. There was definitely something changed in the device, some subtle shading of coloring to be sure, but also something more. Minutes later, when she muttered a distracted, "Come in," it had faded to a deep shimmery gray. 

"Captain." 

She looked up to find Tuvok offering a PADD. His eyes slid over her desk, missing nothing. They lingered ever so slightly on the mug, but the butterfly disk caught his full attention. She smiled at his unspoken curiosity and handed it to him. 

"If you blow on it, it forms a sort of bio-chemical projection. It's normally silvery, but the colors have begun to darken," she gave a small embarrassed chuckle at being caught 'playing'. "I was trying to figure out why. No luck, I'm afraid." 

Kathryn watched at the Vulcan turned the device over in his palm. She nearly laughed out loud when his brow furrowed and he blew on it. Of course, nothing happened. 

"It won't work for you," she explained, grinning. "Watch this." Retrieving the device, she blew across the darkened surface and waited for the light show. It did not disappoint; the little butterfly-like shape lifted from the surface of the disk and began to flutter before them. 

"Intriguing," Tuvok murmured as it shimmered away. "I'm curious. Why would it not work for me?" 

Kathryn shut down her tricorder as she explained the principle.  "It's been imprinted with specific DNA patterns. Those patterns are recognized, and when air is blown across the surface of the disk, it forms the butterfly creature. It will only work for the DNA patterns imprinted upon it." She suddenly felt slightly embarrassed as she finished the explanation. She had no desire to explain whose DNA patterns would cause the disk to work. 

"An interesting device." Tuvok raised a brow and paused for a beat. "I have not seen an item of its like before. Where did you acquire it?" 

"It was a gift," she said simply. 

"Intriguing," Tuvok said again and left the room. 
-- -- 

Chakotay stowed the last of his equipment and exited the shuttle bay. The test flight had been a complete success - Vorik's calculations were flawless.  He would be sure to suggest a commendation for the young Vulcan. It looked as if he were finally coming into his own; growing up, like many among their young crew. 

Alpha shift was several hours passed, but it was still early. He wasn't due to meet the Captain for dinner for another hour. So he decided to meditate for a few minutes, extended time in shuttles always made him feel edgy. He was surprised when he rounded the corridor near his corridors and nearly collided with the Captain. She held a tricorder in her hand. 

"Chakotay, your disk, let me see it." Her voice was brimming with excitement. 

"What is it?" Chakotay had to laugh as he dug the device out of an inner pocket and handed it to her. Kathryn Janeway was nearly bouncing. 

She kept him in suspense for a few moments longer as she ran a spectral analysis. "I knew it!" she exclaimed, beaming in his direction. "Come on!" She grabbed his hand in a very un-captain-like manner and pulled him toward the turbo lift. She seemed to catch herself after a moment, and released him. 

"Dare I ask where you're taking me?" Chakotay teased, a wicked glint in his eyes. He laughed when Kathryn elbowed him and directed his attention to the tricorder's display. He shook his head, not understanding. The device basically said that the disk should appear silvery gray to the visual spectrum of the average human. 

"No, it's changing," Kathryn insisted. She pointed toward an indicator in the corner of the read-out. The tricorder was adjusted so as to determine minute differences in the color of the disk. The scale was fine-tuned to the extreme low end, but it was indeed increasing ever so slightly. Chakotay frowned. 

"Why is it doing that?" he asked, taking the tricorder and making a few adjustments. 

"Ah, so *now* you're curious? Whatever happened to things you can't see with the eyes of science?" Kathryn mocked with a laugh as the turbo-lift stopped on deck one. Both fell into a composed silence as they exited the turbo-lift and entered the ready room. 

"I never said I wasn't curious," Chakotay continued as soon as the doors shut behind them. "But sometimes the journey is just as exciting as the discovery." 

"Oh, I know what you were discovering," Kathryn picked up her disk from the center of her desk and placed it atop his. The tricorder's display immediately topped out in the visible silver spectrum. "Our lovely butterfly friends are sophisticated tracking devices." 

"Really?" Chakotay was stunned. He leaned in to examine the tricorder data with her. She  nodded and adjusted the device to display the results of her impromptu experiment. He enjoyed seeing her like this, so excited at some new bit of information. She was like a child with a new toy. 

"While you were off ship the disk began to darken," she was still explaining. Though her words were registering some place in the back of his mind, the excited swing of her hair, the gentle whiff of her shampoo,  the light dancing in her eyes all took higher precedence. 

"But then you came back and the disk began to brighten. It's one of those things that isn't visible to our... eyes...." Her voice trailed off as she noticed him noticing her. Before he could discover whether his next words should be an apology, a confession or a joke, the door chimed. They were both visibly startled. 

She backed away several steps and whispered a distracted "Come in."  Chakotay folded his hands behind his back and willed his heart rate to return to normal. His knowledge of Vulcan hearing did not help when Tuvok crossed into the ready room and gazed measuringly at him. 

"Captain. Commander." Tuvok's tone was as unaffected as usual. "A situation has come to my attention." 

Kathryn's eyes shot quickly to Chakotay's before flitting away. He frowned slightly. He honestly didn't know what to make of her reaction. Pushing his confusion aside, he forced himself to focus on Tuvok's words. 

"I felt that it would be prudent to discuss the situation with both of you as it involves the future of the crew." His eyes moved blandly from one to the other of them as he spoke. He could easily have been giving a lecture on the proper way to take down an intruder. 

Kathryn immediately slipped into command-mode as Chakotay had known she would and offered coffee all around. Stalling perhaps? Tuvok's dryly spoken words held a very interesting under current. Tuvok declined the coffee, but accepted the seat. 

Kathryn settled behind her desk and took charge of the conversation, requesting that Tuvok continue. 

Not one to mince words, Tuvok got right to the point. "There are two crew members who have formed an attraction for one another," he paused and Chakotay could have sworn that he'd cast a surreptitious gaze between the two of them. "Should their relationship develop further, there may be circumstances that might lead to some difficulty as theirs would be an unusual pairing. It would not be without precedent, however." 

Chakotay couldn't stop himself, he looked directly at the Captain, attempted to gauge her reaction. 

"It is my opinion that a pairing between the two individuals would be mutually beneficial as they work well together. The item that may be a cause for concern is that both crew members are in the same department." 

Kathryn settled back in her chair, focusing steadily on her security officer. For a moment her gaze was intense, as if she meant to stare into his being to determine his motivation, and then she sighed. "While there is no specific rule against relationships between members of the same department, there are principles to abide by, especially where one stands to command the other. And it is generally frowned upon. Everyone on this vessel who has attended the academy is aware of these restrictions." 

Tuvok didn't seem satisfied with that response. "Might I suggest, Captain, that many protocols have been adapted in order to accommodate the smooth operation of this ship. For example, surely it is against the principle of Starfleet's regulations to have those who would be considered enemies of the Federation heading up departments critical to ship's functioning as well as entrusting these with classified information. Yet, none, when examining your decision to do so could argue that it was the incorrect choice." 

Chakotay could have kissed Tuvok. He shoved aside a mental grin at the Vulcan's likely reaction and waited for Kathryn's reply. Surely she wouldn't argue in the face of Vulcan logic. 

But her expression was stiffly composed and her voice mildly reproachful when she replied. "Tuvok, what are trying to tell me?" Chakotay's heart began to sink. 

"I was merely suggesting that the humanoid need for companionship is very strong, and that the protocols that have been put in place were put there for the protection of those who follow them. However, if the situation should arise where those same protocols work to the detriment of the individuals that they were designed to protect, it would only be logical, as well as *human* to adapt." 

Kathryn wasn't giving an inch. Chakotay even thought that there was a hint of anger in the set of her shoulders. He could understand why. She would never have thought that she and Tuvok would be on opposite sides of the fence on this issue She was in the position of having to defend herself against someone she'd thought an ally. 

"Why didn't these crew members simply come to me?" she asked softly. 

Imperceptibly, some small tension eased. "Although that would have been the proper course to approach you, or Commander Chakotay, they decided to approach me because of a...commonality." 

Now Chakotay was confused. Kathryn didn't fare any better. "Who are these crew members?" she asked, completely at a loss. 
 
"Ensign Romane and Lt. T'Pura," Tuvok enlightened her. "They wish to bond. However both are assigned to the Multi-Synchronics Development laboratory. Shall I inform them that their request is denied?" 

Touché. Chakotay frowned as Kathryn quickly recovered. "No. You're right Tuvok. Things have changed out here, and we've had to adapt. Give them both my congratulations." Her smile was quick, and a bit too bright. She risked a glance toward him. He only hoped she saw his support in that brief moment. 

"Very well, Captain. Commander." Tuvok moved to his feet and headed toward the door. 

Silence engulfed the room as the doors slid shut. Kathryn seemed to consciously unclench her fists before turning to him. "Those reports aren't going to read themselves," she said with a weak smile. 

"Kathryn -" Chakotay didn't want to leave like this. He was having serious second thoughts about Tuvok's methods. He'd played the conversation like a game of chess, and he'd backed the captain into a corner. A very touchy corner. She was obviously still smarting. 

"Dismissed, Commander." She spoke softly, focusing intently on her terminal 

He stood watching her several seconds; she needed to win this battle. "Captain," he acquiesced and left the room. 
-- -- 

Kathryn stood outside of Chakotay's quarters for several moments, gathering herself. She'd thought of canceling this dinner, but now was as good a time as any for what needed to be done. Why had she let it slip so far? Removing a last imaginary speck from her uniform, she touched a finger to the door chime. It opened almost immediately to reveal Chakotay standing directly before it. He'd answered it personally. 

She took a step back, unprepared to find him so close. She tried not to notice the slight disappointment in his eyes as they took in her uniform. He'd shed his in favor of casual slacks and a soft shirt. His 'domestic Adonis' apron was thrown over the back of a chair. 

"I hope you're hungry," he said with a small smile, gesturing for her to enter and stepped back out of her way. The table was already set and the food waiting. "The menu consists of spoon bread, Rican bean salad and Ginnel ale," he bowed slightly, before allowing a full-fledged smile to wash over his face. "My grandmother used to make the best spoon bread. I'll have to make the real thing for you some day." 

He pulled back her chair and ushered her into a seat. 

Kathryn eyed him regretfully but allowed him to seat her. Normally the wonderful smells would have tempted her to dig in, but at the moment food seemed less than appetizing. 

Chakotay made no comment on her reticence, but launched into a tale designed to amuse as he moved, almost frantically, about the room, adding finishing touches to their meal. Ginnel ale was a very delicate beverage, and would evaporate within minutes of exposure to atmosphere. He'd made the final adjustment to the canister and was bringing it to the table, when Kathryn sighed and removed her napkin. This wasn't right. 

Chakotay caught her motion and stopped short, managing to upend a container of colored sands. 

They were both immediately on the floor, scooping up the stuff. Kathryn had never known Chakotay to be clumsy. The fact that he was so unsettled only added to her feelings of guilt. 

"I'm sorry, Chakotay. This was a mistake." 

Chakotay's hands stilled in the sand and he settled back on the floor. "So what happens now?" He didn't look at her, but allowed the question to hang in the air. She knew what she wanted to happen. But she had responsibilities. She couldn't simply toss them aside. 

"We are the example for our crew, Chakotay. What we do impacts each and every one of them, as well as our mission. We can't let this situation get out of hand." Her reasons were logical. 

"What about your needs, Kathryn?" Chakotay asked. 

"Needs?" She asked. "What needs could I possibly have that are more important than the safety of the crew?" 

Chakotay did look at her then. Some emotion that she was hesitant to define burned brightly in his eyes. "You can't remain the aloof Captain for 60 years. It isn't healthy. Humans need contact, other people with which to connect." 

"And sooner or later I'm going to snap? Is that it?" Why was she so angry?. "Perhaps in order to head off this calamity I should just throw caution to the wind and have a fling with you? Tell me, how is that going to help the crew?" 

Chakotay flinched, and she was immediately sorry, but it was too late to turn back. And she was tired of being backed into corners this day. The fact that Chakotay stuttered his response cut at her even more. 

"I... not necessarily with me," he frowned as he pressed on. "You might find someone else along our journey that you could..." His eyes focused somewhere in the spilled mess of sand. 

"No," she said softly, cutting him off. "Where would I find a man willing to leave his home forever and travel with me, possibly for the rest of his life? I don't think so." 

Chakotay smiled humorously as his fingers trailed idly through the sand. "So many grains," he said as he scooped up a handful and held it loosely. "Look at it, running between my fingers. If I concentrate I could control the path of a couple, but I can't control all of them. It's just not possible. Life is that way, too, Kathryn. A myriad tiny grains of sand rushing through your life each day. A million details. You can't control all of them. And if you hold on to them too tightly," he squeezed his hand shut. "You lose most of what makes life interesting." 

Kathryn stared a moment at the sands, then pushed herself to her feet and headed toward the door. "We do what we have to do." She'd spoken very softly and wasn't even sure if he'd heard her. 
-- -- 

Chakotay ran the few remaining steps through the door of his quarters and collapsed on the floor. He felt that he'd jogged the entire length of the ship, twice, alternately cursing and lauding the woman who resided in the rooms next to his. She'd accused him of wanting a 'fling'.  Had he ever intimated such a thing? Didn't she know his love was more than that? More than some one night stand? Or a pleasant diversion for a few months? He wanted far more than that from Kathryn Janeway. The fact that she'd lowered his feelings to that level had hurt more than any rejection ever could. But then, who was he kidding? Hadn't he known her priorities from the beginning? Wasn't that part of what he loved about her, that she would sacrifice all for her ship and crew? 

She would do what she had to do. She would snuff out the hope of any normal life for herself, and by extension, for him. And he would let her, because... because he didn't know what else to do. Because he didn't know what else he *could* do. 

With a heavy sigh, he pulled himself up from the floor and reached for his medicine bundle. Perhaps meditation would help him regain a measure of peace. He carefully unwrapped the casing, laid out the objects and prepared to say the ritual words. They were barely out of his mouth when something happened. 

He found himself captured by an unfamiliar landscape. Flowing desert stretched into the distance, warm and comforting. But he stood in shadow, the warmth of the sun was blocked by a towering stone wall. The sunlight beyond beckoned, begging him forward, but the wall would not let him pass. Its large stone blocks taunted him, warning that he could never  bask in the warmth. He could never have the treasure of his heart. 

"Who are you?" a voice asked suddenly. He spun, but saw only the tumble of pebbles in the sands. The pebbles seemed to speak to him. *You are rich beyond measure,* they said, their words echoing through his mind. Then, as suddenly as it began, it ended. The warmth of the desert faded away and only the controlled climate of the ship remained.